Ideas To Kickstart Your Wedding Planning!

I don't care if you have been dreaming up your wedding planning since you were a small child, there's something about ACTUALLY planning a wedding that hits different. Gone are the whimsy pinterest scrolls and now, you are dealing with real money, real decisions, real family dynamics. The practicality of how to fit wedding planning into an already FULL and PURPOSE DRIVEN life you are leading is something I'm passionate about. While I may not be planning my own wedding right now, I know what it's like for couples to continue to have to dig for the energy and willpower to keep "moving the sticks" towards the goal line. If you've stalled, here's some practical advice to get you started. 

1. Look realistically at your calendar

Look realistically at the season ahead. For some, work is especially busy in a certain season. For others, a sport, hobby, or family commitment needs to be considered. Give yourself flexibility to take a month or two to take care of the commitments on your calendar and be supportive of one another's schedules as well. As soon as you find some breathing room, bloc your calendars for a month where wedding planning can shift to become the focus. Maybe you schedule a few weekends to stay home and plan together. 

2. Book an Engagement Shoot 

It may seem counter intuitive but having an engagement shoot can really help you get into the spirit of your wedding. I have found, many couples know a photographer they want to work with. Others seem to have the energy to find and book that vendor early. If this is you, go with that instinct by booking a photographer and putting an engagement shoot on the calendar. What's great about a shoot is that you get to know your photographers style, you test out being photographed as a couple, and you can even give feedback to your photographer about what you liked and didn't like going into the wedding. What's even more helpful is that your photos can serve as the backbone of your wedding website. Even if you don't know the details of the event, your pages can get built out with the photos. Beginning the wedding website will save you time later. You can even use one of the images you get on your save the date! 

3. Make a Mood Board 

Keep your dream alive with a mood board made up of beautiful pinterest images. Take a few hours pinning and creating a mood board in Canva.com. It's free and it's a fun way to see how colors and design elements are working together. A visual representation of your wedding can be a helpful tool to show any vendors you hire. I also find it's a way to clarify the vision for yourself and encourage yourself when you are feeling discouraged by details. Print out your mood board and hang it somewhere liek your closet or office. You can even buy a 3 ring binder to stay organized and put your mood board as the cover. 

4. Spend Time Together As a Couple 

Being a couple in the midst of wedding planning means you are balancing one another's needs emotionally and practically as partners in planning. Often it's prudent to have time together that is not bogged down by endless wedding conversations. However, as a couple, don't miss the opportunity to encourage one another to keep going. If you have both decided this wedding is an important step in your lives together, be encouraging and help one another make it happen. If you are the partner who is "running point" on the planning, be sensitive to not overwhelm your partner when they need a break. If you are the partner who is willing to be helpful but is more in the supporting role, look to practical ways to be involved and be helpful. If neither of you are feeling inspired to do anything planning wise, invite a third party friend or family member into the mix. Schedule a dinner party with your friend who is a wedding planner or take a friends out to coffee to pick their brain on advice to get unstuck. 

5. Limit Time Online 

The beauty of Pinterest is that it is a GREAT resource to pull reference photos for specific prompts. The downside of the internet is that it is very overwhelming. I would say to limit online exposure to never ending wedding imagry and advice until your event is grounded in a few key details or an aesthetic. Once you have set your venue, date, guest list, and budget, inviting some advice can be helpful. And once you have a general sense of your vibe (usually based on the location as well), lean on what you find for inspiration in the "universe" you are living in. Say you know you are a spring aesthetic girlie, then by all means begin pinning spring inspiration. Where I find couples get overwhelmed is that they don't know what they like, and they end up spinning down lots of rabbit holes. 

6. Take Advice with a Grain of Salt

The majority of your inner circle are not inherently wedding experts. Be sure to weigh the advice of loving family members lightly if you feel that (despite their best intentions), they don't really know what they are talking about. Weddings change a lot over the years and often times our parent's references and ways of thinking are a bit of out date.  It can be overwhelming to not be an expert yourself, but to know enough to feel other's are being dismissive to the real struggles you are experiencing as a couple. Find language to express where you are at honestly with your family but in a way that doesn't invite unwanted feedback "we are taking a break from planning to finish our busy season at work/law school/teaching, we are going to really start planning in a few months." Or how about "we are finding it really hard to select a venue so we are a bit stuck at the moment, but we have some time next month blocked off to really do the math to be sure we choose wisely, so much seems to hinge on that choice." Then be sure to lead the conversation elsewhere if you need a break "well we have a friends wedding this month so we are going to go get inspiration there- do you have any wedding this summer?" "We have a vacation skiing with my family so we'll likely wedding plan in the cabin at night, do you have any fun trips coming up?"

7. Seek out a Sage (A Wise Counselor)

Wedding planning is a well worn path. If you need help, consider hiring a wedding planner or another professional to guide you. Of course, this is my passion as well. As a former wedding planner, I've made a video planning guide that walks couples through how to plan their weddings from the comfort of their homes. My shorter course (just 3 hours long) is called The Getting Started Guide, and it's perfect for couples who don't know where to begin. We're running a deal through the month of February so that it's even more reasonably priced than usual. Be sure to head to the courses page and use the coupon code SOINLOVE at checkout. 

www.letsplanyourwedding.com

To conclude, I want you to know that having natural lulls in your planning is normal. Afterall, you have never done this before and each new topic, is another intimidating task you aren't sure how to complete. Forgive yourselves and forgive one another if you feel you haven't been as diligent as you have wanted to be with your planning so far. There are always ways to jump back in and make up the slack. Look at your calendars and see when you have bandwidth to really dive in. Remember that weddings are just events, and events happen all the time. Stay encouraged and don't give up!