We're Engaged! What do we do first?

You are ENGAGED!!!! Congratulations to you! So many couples need a good place to start to simultaneously gain wisdom on wedding planning AND keep their can-do attitude alive! Here are some things you can do from the start to optimize that post engagement energy. 

#1: Celebrate your Engagement! 

I know it sounds fluffy. But a HUGE mistake couples make is skipping right past this step. Firstly, you deserve to take a minute to celebrate. Reaching this milestone as a couple is an exciting season for you and your friend group and family. So call your family together and take a minute to celebrate. Secondly, don't underestimate the road ahead. Wedding planning will be a challenge to tackle together and with your support system. Take the week after your wedding to fortify your spirit with the genuine encouragement and well wishes from family and friends. Lastly, it's important to get the word out. Letting people know through phone calls, a gathering and on social media, helps your community know that you may need encouragement, support, and the resources to put this wedding together. Be sure you let the world know you are heading into wedding planning mode! 

#2: Search the Web  ( with caution) for ideas and advice

Candidly, the reason I started my company was because of wedding world's failure to be a safe and reliable source of information online. When googling and Pinterest- ing, take the stance that you are entering the casino. Sure, I don't mind visiting a Casino every once in a while. But I always remember that my entertainment and fantasy, comes at a cost. It's not that wedding world is sinister. It's self interested. Every Pinterest post, instagram image, and blog post (even this one), is posing as altruistic, but is actually lobbying for your attention and business. I became fed up with Pinterest checklists and posts that didn't give actual value for the people searching, and so I am committed to my spaces being actual places of learning for engaged couples, but not every vendor out there feels that way. So search the web with caution and give yourself some time limitations. If you find yourself becoming stressed or frustrated that the answers to your questions seem to allude you, take a break from the internet and seek out advice from sources you trust. 

#3 Gather your Support System

Remember to keep up the regular life rhythms of work, exercise, wellness and rest as well as community building. It will be easy to initially call together family and friends to celebrate together, but as the months pass, continue to call on your support system for encouragement and advice. Meet for a walk with your mentor, pop by your parents house for a cup of tea, have a girls night out. If wedding planning is weighing on your mind, feel free to share with your community your struggles. And if you are finding you are receiving unwanted advice, tell your family point blank "I just want to complain but I don't want to problem solve yet." Having the people you rely on most validate your concerns and fears as you enter this life phase is an important life skill for every season. Be sure to build up your support system in the months ahead. 

#4 Seek out Reliable Advisors

Hitting a few snags is common in wedding planning. If you truly don't know where to begin: may I recommend my FREE training on the exact subject. I'll link the registration below! But as couples find their footing exploring venues, building their guest list, maybe even temping out a website for themselves, they usually find there are a few things they become stuck on. In my area it's often the venue search that couples hesitate on. For other people it may be they want a particular aesthetic, or they want to translate their unique style to a venue that feels too cookie cutter. Others just feel stuck in general not knowing where to begin or how to afford a wedding. Again, it's why I built my wedding planning course and you can certainly check that out if you need a reliable advisor. I also encourage you to seek out the experts in your community that you know and trust. Ask around for people in your life that have recently planned weddings or have an expertise. Inviting 1 or 2 people you know and trust to a coffee date, can be the human connection you need to get answers and find the right path forward. 

#5 Keep having fun begin engaged

Here's what not people are saying point blank. Wedding planning can be a real challenge for couples. It's ok if you are feeling stuck at an impasse and overwhelmed by the added workload of a part time job (wedding planning) on top of your full and purpose driven lives. I describe wedding planning as the largest and most expensive group project you will ever complete. You know group projects. The thing many of us hated doing in school. Now you are having a multi month (sometimes multi year) group project with all of your family and friends. It can feel daunting. I say this point blank because I'm tired of the internet gas lighting you that it's quick, easy, fun, flirty... to spin up a dream wedding. It's often not easy and actually that's why it's great. It can be good for us to experience challenges. Sometimes the constraints of your budget and timeline can result in creativity and innovation in your wedding planning. So keep going and know that it's ok if you aren't always loving every minute of your wedding planning. Overall this can still be a beautiful and triumphant season for you as a couple. Go on lots of date nights where the word "wedding" is taboo. Give each other breaks when you need it. And of course, when you are ready to tackle planning. I'm here for you in lots of different ways. Check out the FREE 30 minute training to learn more:

www.letsplanyourwedding.com/free-training