What NOT To Do First When You Get Engaged

So... you're ENGAGED!!!! Congratulations! Let's Pop the bubbly! Now that you are getting your head around planning the wedding, here's how NOT to get hung up on the start line.

#1: DONT: Overpromise that everyone will be invited

Wait until you make your formal guest list before giving your friends and family the impression they will for sure get an invite. There's nothing more uncomfy then having to tell people later that actually you tightened up the guest list...

#2 DON'T: Assume your family will foot the bill. 

Traditionally, it's true, the bride's family pays for the entirety of the wedding. Some do say the groom's side should cover the rehearsal dinner and the wedding day flowers for the bridal party. Nowadays it's more often a collaboration where many people contribute money to a large pot that the couple manages. The couple themselves may also be contributing in a large way to the wedding.

#3 DON'T: Panic and book a venue before setting a budget and considering the costs.

The BIGGEST mistake couples make is rushing into a venue contract. Finding the right venue needs to be a calculated search. It's best practice to read through the offer thoroughly and consider the costs carefully. It's also best practice to draw up your guest list BEFORE booking to be sure the venue limitations won't be a problem for your large friend group and/or family. If a venue doesn't provide catering, rentals, bathrooms or other amenities you will need to hire, be sure to ballpark those costs before signing the contract to be sure it's still a good deal. 

#4 DON'T: let family members dictate your priorities.

Family and friends are so important for you as a support system. Don't be surprised, however if they have a few expectations for your day that you didn't even know about! If they aren't able to put your priorities for the wedding first, they may need to be reminded of the key priorities for the day that you and your fiance set together. Just because it is your mom's dream to have a certain type of wedding in a certain town or even, at a certain place, That doesn't mean it's what is best for you. 

#5: DONT: Choose Private Property in order to solve all your money problems

Private property may feel like the perfect solution. Hey, I get to choose any Saturday I want and stop dealing with venue coordinators who are gatekeeping the pricing. It will be free too right?! There are some hidden costs to having a wedding on private property that you should consider before committing to this route. Will there be additional renovations or landscaping needed? Will you need to hire parking attendant or level a parking lot? How much will additional rentals cost? In some cases you may even need to hire additional portable restrooms/ lighting/ even a generator. I had a couple who had to hire an ice man since her property was so rustic and remote. The real hidden cost is that of labor. Many couples think venues today are overpriced. Many venues are. Consider however what is included at venues nearby in terms of what the site fee includes. If it includes rentals a well as setup and breakdown, there is something to be said for that. Be sure to price out what hiring a caterer and rentals would be for your backyard wedding and compare these costs to the breakdown at nearby venues. Also, for couples on a budget, consider free sites like state parks and scenic overlooks or historic sites. For the reception, check out your local community centers, grange halls, women's clubs and elk lodges. Many have commercial kitchens that make catering easier to accomplish as well as rentals provided for a fraction of the cost. 

 In order to learn what you SHOULD do first, check out my site for step by step wedding planning resources at www.letsplanyourwedding.com